My Twitter Ten Commandments

Been some drama on the old twitter machine lately.  People fighting, arguing, unfollowing, blocking, and being called the “Wrong Crowd”.   When I decided to come back to twitter I made My Twitter Ten Commandments that I’ve been trying to follow.  Sure I stray from them like anyone, but I always come back to them during times of strife on the net.

  1. Thou Shalt Not Retweet Compliments

Don’t do this.  All your friends will DM behind your back saying “what an arrogant asshole.” or “we get it someone liked Southbound”.  But I’ve yet to meet anyone who likes when a public handicapper RT’s people telling them nice pick.

2.  Thou Shalt Not Tell Others who to follow or not follow

It’s nobody’s business who you follow other than yours.  If you like someone who everyone else thinks is an asshole, so what.  You find something interesting about them.  If I hate seeing someone pop up in my timeline cause my friend is talking to them, just block the person I don’t want to see.  But don’t ever let someone tell me what I should have on my timeline.  Ever.

3.  Thou Shalt Not Get Mad When Someone Unfollows

I used to use one of those Unfollow tracker services and all it did was bum me out.  Then I realized, it shouldn’t.  That doesn’t mean they hate me.  It means they didn’t want to read my stuff at that point in their life.  And that’s just fine.  So followers, please come and go as you wish.  I have times when I have to take a break from people who I genuinely like, but they are tweeting about annoying shit.

4.  Thou Shalt Not ask “Follow me so I can DM you”

My email address is on my website in the contact section.  And if you don’t want to look there it’s jballscalls@aol.com   I’m just not a big fan of this move cause then when I unfollow a couple hours later you’re going to think I’m a dick.  Which I probably am.  So don’t make me have to do that.

5.  Thou Shalt Not Say “THIS” and nothing else when posting a RT

I just don’t like it so I don’t do it.  You can keep doing it but just know I hate you a tiny bit when you do.

6.  Thou Shalt Not Answer Jokes

I still do this and it’s the hardest one for me on the list.  When someone says something funny I should just laugh, tell them it’s funny, fave it, RT it or just nod my head in approval.  Not try to add to it and make it about me.  I hate when people do it to my jokes so why do I step on theirs?

7.  Thou Shalt Not Say “I/We gave out that trifecta”

No you didn’t.  You picked 4 horses and 3 of them hit the board.  You didn’t give out shit unless you specifically said box the 4 horses in the trifecta for $24.  Also…..nobody is gonna box your 4 horses in a tri box.

8.  Thou Shalt Not try to take away anyone’s livelihood

This one really pisses me off.  Because I don’t like someone on twitter doesn’t mean I should @ mention their company and say they’re bad just cause I don’t like them.  That person is trying to eat and feed their family and make a living.  Never do that.

9.  Thou Shalt Not Out anyone

If someone has their account on private or posts under a pseudonym, they must be wanting the privacy for a reason.  So I shall let them have that.  And if they are rude or mean or whatever, I shall simply unfollow them and move on.

10.  Thou Shalt Not insult people whose politics are different than me

Seriously, nobody likes political twitter person.  But if I’m gonna make political posts I should never put someone else down or insult them cause they don’t agree with me.  We all have different pasts that have led us to our present.

 

New Year, New Job

So haven’t posted in a while so thought I’d check in on here.  I’ve started working with BetAmerica.com as we’ve created a radio network there doing daily shows and some other content.  It’s been a ton of fun.  They’re based in San Francisco and have been really great to work with so far.

You can check out shows and information here:

BetAmerica Radio Network

Or just click on “latest episodes” on the top bar .

Happy Birthday Hairball

Today is the Hairball’s birthday.  His birth name is Jared but I don’t think I’ve called him that in decades.  I met Harry when I was 10 years old.  He had just moved to the Seattle area from Orlando and I was coming off a 9 year old season that saw me hit .660 and go 6-0 on the mound.  I was king shit around CVAC Little League.  Then Hairball showed up.  He was blasting 220 foot homeruns all year long.  He had 12 homers in our 16 game season.  I just missed hitting .700 but Hairball was the story of little league that year.

We played baseball together every year after that all through high school.  From ages 11 to 15 we were best friends.  He lived about two miles away and I’d ride my bike over there every day in the summer.  We’d play baseball using a tennis ball.  We’d play ping pong at his aunt Donna’s house.  Play with his dog Scamp who he called “Geebert” which I never understood.

Oddly enough two of my favorite Hairball stories involve going to the bathroom.  Hairball could strip paint off the walls.  When we were 12 years old we were staying at our families’ cabin in Sequim, Washington and were gonna go salmon fishing the next day.  We were gonna get up at 3:30am to drive up to Sekiu so at 10pm my dad went to bed and me and Hairball went upstairs to do the same.  About thirty minutes later Hairball says “I gotta go downstairs and poop.”  Now my dad was a grumpy and sometimes mean dude, and that meanness was amplified by ten when he was tired or got woken up.  So me being the genius I was told Hairball “Be quiet and don’t flush cause the flush will wake dad up.”  Good thinking Jas!  So 3:30am arrives and instead of getting woken up by the alarm clock, we were woken up by my dad screaming about the deuce someone had left in the toilet and not flushed.  We got downstairs and the whole floor smelt like a sewage plant.  My dad started yelling at me why I didn’t flush and I passed the blame on to Hairball and he lectured us both.  His great parenting advice included the phrase “When you take a shit, you flush the toilet.”  I’ve carried that advice with me ever since.

The other Hairball bathroom story was when we were 15 and in Chicago for the 15 year old world series.  Harry, Me and My dad were sharing a room and we played a morning game against Japan which we lost.  My dad seizing the afternoon off was going to Arlington Park.  Me and Harry were going to just hang out at the hotel.  Hairball had fouled the room the morning before and my dad told him “If you gotta shit go to the lobby, I can’t take another morning like that.”   So my dad heads out to the track and five minutes later Harry says he has to go #2.  I told him to go downstairs and he said “He’s gonna be gone for 4 hours, he won’t notice.”  So of course my dad comes running back in cause he forgot his Daily Racing Form.  He notices it’s just me in the room and asks where Harry is.  I nod at the bathroom door.  My dad instantly looked mad but also couldn’t help but laugh as he banged on the door and told Hairball “you better not be doing anything I told you not to do in there.”  Luckily my dad wanted to make the early double at Arlington more than he wanted to yell at hairball.  But the whole event still makes me laugh.

Hairball was our catcher.  I used to love pitching to him.  One time we were having arguments during a game in the dugout and out on the field.  I remember he said something to me about my pitches and I screamed to him to just get behind the plate, catch the ball, and shut up.  He replied “I will if it ever gets here.”

Hairball and I stayed friends and baseball teammates all through high school.  We didn’t have as many classes together as we went on so best friends became good friends and eventually became just friends.  During college he went to WSU and I stayed home and went to UW.  I saw him a couple times on visits over there.  We stayed in touch after college but never like it was when we were young.  Nowadays the only time I talk to him is when I call him on his birthday, which I’ll do later today.  The good thing is when I talk to him or the rare chance I see him, it’s always great and just like old times.  Some friends you always feel close to, even if there is now a distance, be it geographical or otherwise.

I think when you’re best friends with someone at a point in your life, especially as a youth, you’re always tied to them.  One of my favorite quotes in one of my favorite movies, Stand By Me, always makes me think of Hairball.

“It happens sometimes.  Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant.  I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.  Jesus, does anyone?”

Happy Birthday Hairball.

Beemie Award for Best Twitter Fight–Andy Asaro and Chuck Simon

Best Fight—Andy and Chuck Simon

This one had it all. It was really fantastic. Outspoken horse player versus confident trainer. Outspoken horseplayer says disparaging remark about trainer’s friend….and to quote Trevor “And awayyyyy they go”. Back and forth back and forth.

 

Once the cursing starts it really heats up.

Then there’s the inevitable cross country fight challenge.

Two of the best in their respective business trading haymakers for all the world to see. It’s everything we want in a fight and it’s this year’s winner for Best Fight.  I couldn’t even print all of the tweets because of cencorship issues!

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BEEMIE AWARD FOR FAVORITE MOMENT–JOSH GETTING KICKED OUT OF NORTHLANDS

Josh is the best. This guy is a walking/talking twitter reality show. I was off twitter at this time, and I’ll never forget that afternoon. My phone started buzzing while I was driving. Once stopped at my location I saw 5 texts, all from different people, all with the same message. “Josh just got banned from Northlands Park!” I knew this would be gold and it was. But why let me tell the story. Josh laid it out for you.

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Apparently going up to a stranger and telling him to “go fuck himself” and that he’s “a cheating piece of shit” is enough to get you thrown out of a place nowadays?

So Josh was done with Northlands right. Hah! You apparently don’t know him well. He brought in his secret weapon. Sammy!

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Mission accomplished. See you at NP on opening day next May Josh!

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BEEMIE AWARD FOR FAVORITE FOLLOW-Kent Desormeaux

Favorite Follow:   Kent Desormeaux

This was the year of Kent on twitter.   Kent’s account is what we actually want from pro athletes. It’s almost always entertaining and he isn’t afraid to go after reporters, horse players, trainers, you name it. I prefer entertainment above all when it comes to twitter which is why Kent Desormeaux is my favorite follow this year.

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Beemie Award for Humblebrag of the Year-Melissa Nolan!

Humblebrag of the year—Melissa Nolan

So, this one might not even be humble, and it’s from last year, but it’s so awesome it deserves an award. Melissa has never lacked confidence but one day she’d had enough with a certain “Seahag” and let her have it, and in the process, let us all know just how boss she is.

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You’re our favorite Babe with an MBA MN!