This is quite an exciting time. This time next week I’ll officially be a published author with a book for sale. I will say first up that the pride I’m feeling in the achievement of writing a book in the first place is pretty incomparable to anything I’ve experienced. It’s such a long project. I mean going on two years, which I know for some books isn’t that long at all. But it’s certainly been an experience. My therapist today asked “what made you want to write a book?” Funny thing is, I don’t remember the exact moment I decided to. I remembered that I was thinking about gambling again. I had saved up some money and had plenty of free time. My fantasy was always to pack up all my things and move south and be a professional gambler. So that’s what I did. Only I played it out in book form. As it turns out, that was the smart thing to do as opposed to actually going and gambling my brains out in Vegas or LA.
But the question I’m getting most lately from family and friends is “are you excited?” The easy answer is yes. It’s the culmination of a lot of hard work both myself and my publisher, editor and team at Pandamoon. The long answer isn’t quite as easy. It’s a strange feeling. I think it would be one thing if the story wasn’t so close to my actual life. So much of the character Ryan McGuire is me. Much of it is me at my worst. When I was gambling. And lying. I added a lot of things to Ryan that aren’t me as well. It’s definitely a fiction book and a fictional journey, but there’s a lot of truth in there as well. People who have read it say it’s “gritty” and a “tough read”. Personally I take those as compliments because it’s supposed to be that way. It was a tough life LOL. I suppose it’s just strange to open up and share something that’s very personal in such a public way, but I also think people will enjoy it. I think some people will probably not enjoy it. But I’d rather have people have one emotion or the other and not just blah.
The real strange feeling has been having the book be “done”. I mean for how many months I’ve had this manuscript to tinker with, and read, and edit and enjoy my time with. But the publisher has had it for a while now and it’s out my hands at this point. I know at some point I’ll probably want to change something after the fact, but maybe that’s a good lesson to learn about letting go. Either way, the next week will be fun leading up to it and after that…well we’ll see.